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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25812277">Snakes and Spiders</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuarkyThings/pseuds/QuarkyThings'>QuarkyThings</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Arackniss is bad at feelings, Canon-Typical Violence, Dismemberment, Electrocution, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Mental Abuse, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Original Character(s), Pentious is not, Stabbing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:49:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,447</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25812277</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuarkyThings/pseuds/QuarkyThings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Pentious and Arackniss have been together for some time now, secretly building up a relationship neither of them had ever hoped for. Now, they're taking the next step, with Pentious offering his inventions to Henroin. This brings the unwanted attention of a rival mafia group, with Arackniss and Pentious trying to stop them and not get their relationship caught in the crossfire</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Arackniss/Sir Pentious (Hazbin Hotel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>160</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. First Impressions Matter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Here's the old summary, if anyone wanted to keep it around! </p><p>Sometimes, you ship a rare pair and find you have to make the content you want on your own, so that's what I did. </p><p>This is a slice of life type of story for Pentious and Arackniss, they've been together in secret for a while, and Pentious attempts to sell weapons to Henroin to explain why he and Arackniss have been seen together as of late.</p><p>Oh, why do I have to get into rare pairs? I had fun with character interpretations, I hope it's to your liking!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“This… is a bad idea,” Pentious sighed, the flick of his tongue betraying his nerves, as well as his furiously shaking hands. The snake was never still, when he monologued, when he talked, even in bed, he was big motions, loud, and full of bravado. His nerves had shot that bravado down like one of his unfortunate air balloons, standing in front of the full mirror in his best suit and bowtie, readjusting his top hat for the hundredth time.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll do fine, just be yourself,” Arackniss smoothed down his own tie, “You’re smart, witty, confident, Pops will eat that shit up.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, yes, definitely,” Pentious puffed out his chest, using his ‘evil supervillain’ voice, “Hello, sir! I’m Sir Pentious, weapons extraordinaire! I’d like to pursue a partnership between us, and I’m definitely not having sex with your son!”</p><p> </p><p>Arackniss had to crack a small smile at that, “Well, we’ve been seen together too many times for Pops to just ignore it. He wants to meet you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Fantastic,” Pentious spritzed some of the cologne Arackniss liked in the air, slithering through it, “Well. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”</p><p> </p><p>“Just act natural. And straight.”</p><p> </p><p>“As long as it does not become a topic of conversation, I believe I will be alright,” Pentious said before they made their way to meet the Family.</p><p> </p><p>Sir Pentious brought a briefcase full of the latest weaponry he had created, and against the protests of the Egg Bois, he and Arackniss went alone.</p><p> </p><p>The air balloon Pentious called his home was parked just to the side of the large building the Family resided in, the two of them coming down a ramp into the street below, where two spiders were already waiting. Arackniss caught the small hiss Pentious released, still nervous. “</p><p> </p><p>The Mafioso is waiting for you both,” the spider on the left said, Arackniss giving a curt nod, nearly acting like he didn’t know Pentious, couldn’t pick up on any of his small tells that only close friends (or closer) would know.</p><p> </p><p>Henroin was an imposing demon, towering over most of the smaller spiders at over eight feet tall, Pentious sliding back on his tail a bit before remembering. He was Sir Pentious, not to be trifled with in his own right! He stood tall, shoulders back.</p><p> </p><p>Arackniss had warned Pentious to let Henroin speak first, which was very against the snake’s nature. But if Arackniss said to, it was best to heed his advice. </p><p> </p><p>“So, I heard you’ve been talking weapons with my son,” if Pentious didn’t know better, he would have thought it was fatherly concern in his cold voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Why yes! I am Sir Pentious, weapons extraordinaire!”</p><p> </p><p>“We already have a reliable weapons dealer, what makes you better?” Henroin cut in.</p><p> </p><p>Arackniss had no expression on his face, didn’t even look at Pentious. This was a lot more painful than the snake had expected.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, sir,” Pentious never called anyone sir, but he knew he’s have to make those subtle gestures of respect to get on the mob boss’ good side. Or at least neutral side, “I’m more than just a weapons dealer, I am also a weapons inventor!”</p><p> </p><p>“Have you brought any examples of your work?” Henroin was clearly skeptical.</p><p> </p><p>Sir Pentious nodded enthusiastically, “Why yes, I have!” he put down the briefcase, clicking it open. This was his latest weapon, hadn’t even been used in any of the latest turf wars he had been a part of. A heavy sniper rifle looked up at them all as he spun it to show Henroin and the rest of the assembled Family.</p><p> </p><p>“It looks like a normal fuckin’ sniper rifle,” Henroin said gruffly.</p><p> </p><p>“So it does! That’s because you want to hide the abilities of this particular gun. May I?” Pentious made a motion to show he was going to pick up the gun, he had been warned by Arackniss to make sure he didn’t put the Family on edge. Henroin nodded once with another grunt. He was a very grunty man, Pentious decided. Pentious put together the gun with skilled hands, the only thing out of place was a thicker sniper scope.</p><p> </p><p>“Now, this rifle uses normal bullets, Holy or otherwise for dispensing of targets!” Pentious began once it was assembled, pulling what looked like a silencer out of the case and screwing it on, “Until you attach the beam attachment!”</p><p> </p><p>Arackniss, still silent by his side, seemed the slightest bit uneasy when Pentious offered him the weapon.</p><p> </p><p>“Allow for a demonstration!” Pentious looked behind him, “You may want to move,” Pentious said with a hiss to the spider directly behind him.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve worked hard with your son Arackniss to create a weapon unseen in Hell to make ‘icing your targets’ easier than ever!” he pulled from his breast pocket a box of cigarettes (Not a vice he enjoyed, but he kept some on hand for Arackniss). He set it on the table behind him, completely hidden behind his back from Arackniss, who was lining up his sights on it. “I’m sure you can deduce what’s coming next! Shoot the cigarettes, but miss the precious cargo in front! ”</p><p> </p><p>Pentious spared a glance at Henroin, who looked mildly interested, and not at all put off by firing a gun in his home. It probably happened a lot.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re sure putin’ a lot of faith in your inventions,” Henroin didn’t seem to care one way or the other if Pentious died.</p><p> </p><p>“I always do! Take it away, Arackniss!” Pentious’s hood was raised, chest puffed out in a show of excitement and pride. Aracnkiss grunted (he must’ve gotten it from his father) before pulling the trigger.</p><p> </p><p>A flash of red light dodged right around the snake, hitting the cigarettes dead on. The entire box was vaporized instantly, leaving the scent of tobacco in the air.</p><p> </p><p>Henroin made what Pentious guessed was an impressed sound, “Shoots around corners too?”</p><p> </p><p>“As long as you locked it in as a target, it’ll find it’s mark!” Pentious said proudly as Arackniss put down the gun.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ve been working on it for a few months, Pops,” he spoke for the first time. Pentious noted the deathly calm tone he used with his father. That was around the first time Pentious and Arackniss had been explicitly caught together, but it was in no way the first time they had met. But no time to think about that now.</p><p> </p><p>“How’s it work?” Henroin said, ever the skeptic.</p><p> </p><p>“It utilizes the natural demonic energy of the user to shoot a bolt of energy-much like a bullet- to where the user wants it to go-” Pentious could have gone on and on, luckily Arackniss knew where to throw on his two cents so he didn’t end up rambling for an hour.</p><p> </p><p>“This one’s already been calibrated to fit me, Pops,” Arackniss patted the stock of the gun. “Unique to every demon, even if stolen another demon cannot utilize the tracking ability,” Pentious added.</p><p> </p><p>“We don’t need more than one, the Family’s only got one sniper.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course! This is simply another way to get ahead of the technological curve to leave rivals in the dust,” Pentious hissed, thinking to himself so Niss can spend more time with me instead of running around for hours tracking down targets.</p><p> </p><p>“I assume you do this sort of thing with other weapons,” Henroin looked what probably passed for intrigued to him.</p><p> </p><p>“Why yes, I do! Usually my weapons are a bit less in the stealth categories, like turrets or-”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I've seen your flying balloon getting shot at on the news.”</p><p> </p><p>This made Pentious’ hood flair momentarily in annoyance, but he quickly quieted his inner voice yelling at the dishonor.</p><p> </p><p>“I have a wide array of talents in weapon invention.” Henroin seemed to finally relent somewhat, and they started getting down to the nitty gritty of business details, Pentious running on autopilot, stealing glances at his beloved when he could.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Stealthy Spider Sniper</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Arackniss has a job to do, and often it can end up a bit dangerous. Luckily he has a snake more than willing to take care of him.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning!! There's injury and blood here! Not terribly graphic, but if you're sensitive be cautious!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pentious was unbelievably disappointed that he and Aracnkiss could not leave together once everything had been worked out, he had to be content with flying his air balloon back to the mountainside mansion he had as his base and wait for Arackniss to be able to join him. </p>
<p>The egg bois wanted to hear every last detail, which served to distract Pentious was he retold everything at least a few times. No matter, he didn’t mind hearing himself talk, and the egg bois didn’t either. </p>
<p>Pentious autopiloted through making himself a cup of tea, working one some repairs to his ship, even putting on a pot of water to boil for pasta dinner later. He ate a lot more Italian with Arackniss in his life. </p>
<p>Humming to himself as he put the latest touches on a new turret, Pentious nearly caught his second death when he felt two pairs of arms wrap around his midsection. </p>
<p>“Good Lord, Arackniss!” he shouted as he felt fluffy hair brush his cheek, turning slightly to see the spider attached to his back, “You scared me!” </p>
<p>“Silent as a spider, Pen,” Arackniss was still holding onto Pentious’ back, thin legs wrapped around the snake’s torso, “It’s my job description to be stealthy.” </p>
<p>“Hmph, fair enough,” Pentious didn’t mind his small partner hanging off of him as such, hands still free to put away his tools and pull off his goggles. </p>
<p>“I made dinner, but I think it’s probably gone cold by now,” Pentious checked his pocket watch as Arackniss hopped off his back. It was well past eight at this point. </p>
<p>“Sorry for bein’ so late, Pops had lots more questions and Family business means I couldn’t get to my hellphone,” Arackniss sighed, fluffing his hair. </p>
<p>“What was the reception of the rifle?” Pentious asked as they worked together to reheat the pasta dinner. </p>
<p>“It was good, Pops doesn’t show he’s impressed like that often.”</p>
<p>“He’s a rather… stoic man, it’s more than a little off putting!” Pentious laughed, but Arackniss could tell it was that scripted supervillain laugh, not a warm genuine one. </p>
<p>“Yep, that’s my father,” Arackniss said dryly as they sat down for dinner. </p>
<p>“You think they’ll want a partnership?”</p>
<p>“Prolly, if we need special equipment for hits, Pops is starting to get more ambitious about his hits.” Arackniss said, as if Pentious didn’t know he was away more and more. </p>
<p>“That’s good! If I work on cutting edge technology you’ll be able to spend more time with me, no?”</p>
<p>“Sure hope so,” Arackniss grinned. </p>
<p>“Will you be able to stay the night?” Pentious asked with more than a bit of hope in his voice. </p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah I think I will be.” </p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>Pentious’ bed was more than big enough for both of them, but they both always ended up as squished together as possible, Pentious’ tail wrapped loosely around Arackniss’ legs. </p>
<p>Instead of fighting back against the gentle squeeze, Arackniss went limp like a ragdoll, relaxing into it. </p>
<p>It was a ritual. Pentious would always make sure Arackniss was asleep before nodding off, silently soothing the tense spider to sleep. </p>
<p>Pentious knew he was asleep with the telltale whistle that comes from a broken and rehealed nose, both sets of hands tightly gripping Pentious’ night shirt, like he was afraid he’d disappear. </p>
<p>“Goodnight, my little sniper,” Pentious said with a flick of his tongue before closing his eyes. </p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>Arackniss woke at dawn, like he always did, the deep reds of Hell becoming brighter through a crack in thick curtains. </p>
<p>He was an expert at untangling himself from Pentious without disturbing the snake, who took up as much room as possible, even when unconscious. </p>
<p>Over the months (shit, nearly a year now) Arackniss had started to keep a few suits in Pentious’ closet, so he could change into fresh clothing. </p>
<p>As he put on his hat, he leaned down to kiss Pentious on the forehead. </p>
<p>“Hm… leaving so soon, little sniper?”</p>
<p>“Duty calls,” Arackniss said quietly, so not to disturb him further. </p>
<p>“Be home for dinner,” Pentious mumbled, “I’m in the mood to make a pie.”</p>
<p>“Don’t burn down the kitchen, Pent,” Arackniss laughed quietly as he left and Pentious drifted back to sleep. </p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>It was pitch black outside, the pie had been done for hours, and Arackniss still wasn’t back. </p>
<p>Pentious didn’t dare send another text in case Arackniss was compromised somehow, but at the same time he wanted to send another text in case Arackniss was compromised somehow. </p>
<p>He had slithered back and forth so much he was liable to run a groove into the floor. </p>
<p>“Hey boss?” one of the egg bois said nervously. </p>
<p>“What do you want?!” Pentious snapped with a hiss, hood flaring. </p>
<p>The egg boi cowered, as he should, “You’re looking a little stressed, boss.”</p>
<p>Pentious had to admit that the egg brought up a good point and he made an exaggerated sigh, covering his face with both hands, “How perceptive you are.” </p>
<p>“Don’tcha think you could do somethin’ to relax?”</p>
<p>“I don’t think it’s in your best interest to tell me how-” they were all cut off by the front door creaking open. </p>
<p>Pentious hoped to Hell it was Arackniss. </p>
<p>He stopped short when he saw the spider. He looked, for lack of a better term, like absolute shit. </p>
<p>Blood covered one side of his face and suit, his bottom set of arms cradling one another, definitely injured. </p>
<p>“S’rry for bein’ so late, Pen” Arackniss said with a weak laugh, his words slurred. </p>
<p>Pentious scrambled forward to grab him in his arms when the small spider collapsed. </p>
<p>“ARACKNISS!” Pentious shouted, scooping him up in his arms and hurrying to the restroom to see what the hell had happened to his little spider. </p>
<p>He felt for a pulse, feeling his own rising by the second. It was strong, luckily. </p>
<p>He set Arackniss down in the bathtub, slowly peeling off his coat, drenched in blood as it was it’d be unsalvageable. </p>
<p>Pentious gasped when he saw the bullet wound. It had been very shoddily bandaged up, already bleeding through. </p>
<p>As he worked to pull off the bandage and the rest of Arackniss’ clothing, the spider made a tiny groan of pain. </p>
<p>“Oh thank Satan you’re awake,” Pentious gently cradled Arackniss’ face, “C’mon Niss, stay with me.”</p>
<p>Aracnkiss’ many eyes cracked open and Pentious could have cried in relief, “Where…?”</p>
<p>“You’re in the bathroom,” Pentious said softly, trying not to panic outwardly. </p>
<p>“I don’t remember even drivin’ here,” Arackniss’ voice sounded tired and weak, “The hit went bad, really bad.”</p>
<p>“You’re supposed to be away from the action, my sniper,” Pentious fretted. At least the bullet wound was a through hole and he didn’t have to dig around in his torso for scraps of metal.</p>
<p>“The action came to me.” Arackniss muttered, “Did the hit, got jumped trying to escape. That explained the blood and the busted knuckles on both right hands.</p>
<p>“Did you take care of them?”</p>
<p>“Sent the bastards to their second death.”</p>
<p>“Good,” Pentious set to cleaning the area around the wound with a wet rag, his brow knit firmly together, “When’d you get shot?” he kept talking, trying not to babble and keep Arackniss awake. </p>
<p>“I was getting into my car.”</p>
<p>“And then you came here?”</p>
<p>“Didn’t know where else to go.”</p>
<p>“I’m going to patch you up now,” Pentious warned, “I have to clean it first and that’ll hurt.” </p>
<p>He had lots of practice cleaning his own many wounds, it was fast, quick, and efficient, if with a sting of pain. </p>
<p>“You’ve lost a lot of blood,” Pentious said quietly as he started to wash the blood out of Arackniss’ hair with a damp cloth. </p>
<p>“No hospitals in Hell,” Arackniss huffed, still holding his bottom hands. </p>
<p>Pentious took his hands carefully to start cleaning and wrapping busted knuckles, but Arackniss resisted. </p>
<p>“You’re too gentle.”</p>
<p>“There’s no such thing as being too gentle while bandaging wounds.”</p>
<p>Arackniss didn’t have a response, but he didn’t look at Pentious either. </p>
<p>“Perhaps you're a bit too rough patching yourself up,” Pentious offered. Arackniss just grumbled in response, and Pentious didn’t want to push it. </p>
<p>“Thanks, Pen,” Arackniss whispered when he was done. </p>
<p>“Of course, Niss,” Pentious leaned down to kiss him on the forehead, “Let’s get some food in you and get you to sleep, ok?” </p>
<p>------</p>
<p>Due to his wound, Pentious could not wrap his beloved up in his coils. It took them both a very long time to fall asleep together. </p>
<p>Arackniss did not wake up early in the morning, Pentious woke first, finding that they had held hands throughout the whole night. </p>
<p>Not wanting to disturb the recovering spider Pentious went to make breakfast, putting some toast and eggs with coffee on a tray to bring to Arackniss. </p>
<p>He was still sleeping, looking so tiny in the huge bed. Normally this would make Pentious hiss from the cuteness, but now it made his heart sink. He could have lost him, and could’ve done nothing about it. </p>
<p>All of the power that Sir Pentious had amassed over years in Hell… it meant nothing to him if Arackniss… ceased to exist. </p>
<p>No machine could keep him safe enough in Hell, no invention Pentious made could ensure they both live to see another morning. Pentious felt the tea tray shake in suddenly unsteady hands. </p>
<p>“Pen..?” Arackniss shook Pentious out of his thoughts, having woken up during his internal thoughts. </p>
<p>“Oh, sorry my dear, just. Lost in my thoughts.” Pentious held out the tray gently to Arackniss, “I made you some breakfast. It’s not entirely too hearty like you usually have it, but I don’t want to upset your stomach.” </p>
<p>“You’re spoilin’ me, Pen,” Arackniss grinned tiredly, “Is it weird to eat eggs if all your henchmen are also eggs?”</p>
<p>	Pentious blinked, he had never really thought about it, “Now it might be.”</p>
<p>“Will ya let me outta bed?” Arackniss hadn’t missed the tail starting to curl around his legs with a smirk. </p>
<p>“No! You need rest!”</p>
<p>“Not the first bullet to the side I’ve gotten.”</p>
<p>“Well, it’s the first one you’ve had a doting boyfriend to take care of you!” Pentious said, a bit huffy. </p>
<p>“Alright, alright, well, Pops knows I’m lying low for a while, limited contact till the heat lets up.”</p>
<p>“Does that mean…” Pentious grinned, that glint of energy back in his eyes. </p>
<p>Arackniss grinned back, “I’m all yours, babe.”</p>
<p>Pentious leaned in to give his boyfriend a kiss, tasting the coffee still on his tongue. </p>
<p>“What happened to rest?” Arackniss teased as he broke the kiss to put away his tray of food. </p>
<p>“You’re still in bed, aren’t you?”</p>
<p>“Fair enough,” Aracnkiss said before pulling Pentious down for more kisses.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Comments are always appreciated! I cranked this chapter out incredibly fast, I hope I can keep up the pace!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. You're More Than Enough</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Y'all want some angst? Well, you're gettin some angst. Arackniss doesn't like having time to reflect on his feelings.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WARNING: Lots of use of the word fuck and minor self harm at the end of the chapter</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arackniss started to feel cooped up after just a day of rest, making his way around Pentious’ base with a drowsy look in his eyes, trying to find something to do. He had already cleaned his rifle and emergency pistol, sharpened his knives. And him and Pentious both knew it was a terrible idea to have him help with any of the snake’s inventions. </p>
<p>He checked his wrist watch, finding it was near lunchtime. That explained why he was so hungry. </p>
<p>Stopping by where Pentious was working, Arackniss found him coiled around a support truss of his air balloon with a blowtorch in hand, welder’s mask reflecting the sparks. </p>
<p>“Hey, Pen?” Arackniss called up. </p>
<p>Pentious looked around for a moment before flipping up the welder’s mask, hanging upside down by the tail to look at Arackniss. </p>
<p>“Niss! What brings you to the lab?”</p>
<p>“When’s the last time you ate?”</p>
<p>“...Depends what time it is!” Pentious said sheepishly. He tended to forget to eat when he got into his work. </p>
<p>“Right… I’ll make lunch for us then,” Arackniss grinned a bit. </p>
<p>“Sounds lovely! Will it be a surprise?”</p>
<p>“Now it will be,” Arackniss said, knowing Pentious loved surprises, when it was him the one who was giving them. </p>
<p>Looking in the fridge he found ingredients for carbonara, setting to work. </p>
<p>With an extra set of hands he was able to work twice as fast. It felt good to work, do something with his hands, something for Pentious and him to share.</p>
<p>He chopped bacon and  portioned paste without even having to think, having long ago memorized his mama’s recipe. </p>
<p>As he worked to plate the food, he went to go get Pentious. </p>
<p>“Surprise lunch is done!” he called up to Pentious, still hanging precariously onto his airship. It made Arackniss very nervous. </p>
<p>Watching Pentious make a sort of… flopping, controlled fall down made Arackniss feel even more nervous. </p>
<p>Pentious caught the look, “Are you feeling alright, my dear?” </p>
<p>“You don’t use a ladder,” Arackniss said, not needing any further explanation. </p>
<p>“Well, I’ve found my coils are quite strong enough to hold me up! I can put down a mat or something underneath if you’d like,” he said with his usual tooth filled smile.</p>
<p>Arackniss was struck with how silly this worry seemed, was he not the one currently nursing a bullet wound to the side? </p>
<p>“Nah, nah, just. Worried,” he started to backtrack. </p>
<p>Pentious laughed a bit, “Ladders are a bit more of a liability now with no legs, unfortunately, but I assure you I’m quite safe up there.”</p>
<p>“...A mat sounds like a good idea, though.”</p>
<p>“I’ll get one of the egg bois to go fetch me one posthaste!” </p>
<p>That made Arackniss chuckle to himself as they went to eat lunch. </p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>Demons healed fast in Hell, even so Pentious insisting to change the bandages many more times than was necessary. </p>
<p>“Ya just usin’ this as an excuse to baby me,” Arackniss said with a huff. </p>
<p>“Of course! It’s not like I have many chances to do so.” </p>
<p>“Big ole sap,” Arackniss was covering his face with his upper set of hands as Pentious took off the bandage. No blood, fur was starting to grow in. </p>
<p>“Oh, don’t be huffy, it only fuels me more.”</p>
<p>Arackniss grumbled again and Pentious pouted.</p>
<p>“C’mon Niss, don’t be like that,” Pentious said softly.</p>
<p>“S’rry,” he mumbled, “Not used to it is all.” </p>
<p>Pentious tutted, the internalized hatred Arackniss had for himself was something the snake still wasn’t able to crack. </p>
<p>“Well, you’re nearly healed all the way through, so I suppose it won’t last much longer,” he said, with a hint of sadness in his voice. </p>
<p>“Thanks, Pen,” Arackniss shrugged back on his clothing, Pentious watching his movements with those curious eyes of his, “You good?”</p>
<p>“Just admiring the demon I love,” Pentious grinned and Arackniss rolled his eyes with a smile of his own. </p>
<p>Perhaps this moment would have lasted longer if Arackniss hadn’t looked at his phone, his face showing just a beat of… worry? Fear perhaps. </p>
<p>“Uh, Pen, I need to make a call real quick.”</p>
<p>“No problem,” Pentious said, a bit quietly as he watched Arackniss walk to an outer balcony. </p>
<p>It was with a lot of gesticulating and clear frustration on Arackniss’ part that the conversation took place, with Pentious nervously trying not to spy on his boyfriend’s call. </p>
<p>“Well…” Arackniss sighed heavily as he came back inside, head low and both sets of shoulders hunched. </p>
<p>“I assume it didn’t go well,” Pentious said from where he settled himself back at the edge of the bed. </p>
<p>Arackniss slumped down next to him, flopping back and covering his face with all his hands. </p>
<p>“Ah, that bad?”</p>
<p>A muffled grumble in response. </p>
<p>Pentious lay down next to him, wordlessly pulling him into his chest in that familiar, strong hug. </p>
<p>Arackniss’ composure cracked, four arms gripping the back of Pentious’ jacket, so hard he felt nails digging into his back. </p>
<p>“I’m a fuckin failure…” he mumbled so quietly into Pentious’ chest he nearly missed it. </p>
<p>“...What?”</p>
<p>“Nothin’.” Arackniss’ voice pitched with an edge of panic. </p>
<p>“No! Not nothin’!” Pentious didn’t pull Arackniss away, but he did loosen his grip in case the spider felt trapped, “What told you those lies??”</p>
<p>Arackniss pulled away and Pentious let him go without much resistance, arms falling limp at his side.</p>
<p>“Just… just everything.” he said after a very long pause, back turned to Pentious, “Pops chewed me out. Standard stuff. Nothing I haven’t heard before.”</p>
<p>“Utterly horrible that you hear those things at all,” Pentious said with a scoff he hadn’t intended to come out. </p>
<p>“That’s just how Pops is.”</p>
<p>“Utterly horrible? I agree.”</p>
<p>“He made me the demon I am now, he’s my fuckin father!” Arackniss let out a growl, gripping his hair harshly with two hands, the other two hugging his stomach, “I can’t do the one job right!”</p>
<p>Pentious stood up quickly, “Hey, hey… don’t do that.”</p>
<p>Arackniss scrubbed at his eyes, claws digging into his own flesh as he scraped his face, “I’m never gonna be fuckin good enough!”</p>
<p>“Stop!” Pentious said with so much force that Arackniss froze in place, eyes wide<br/>. <br/>“Be gentle with yourself,” Pentious said more gently this time, taking all four of his hands in his. </p>
<p>Arackniss just shook his head a bit, “I fucked up. I’m a huge f-” </p>
<p>“Sh, my dear,” Pentious slowly wrapped his arms around Arackniss’ middle, “I’m going to pick you up now, ok?”</p>
<p>Arackniss just nodded, he didn’t want to cry. </p>
<p>Pentious lay Arackniss back down in bed, the spider curling in on himself instantly. </p>
<p>“I don’t trust myself not to fuck up,” Arackniss still wouldn’t look at him, even with Pentious facing him. </p>
<p>“Fuck up what?” </p>
<p>“Everything… the Family, us!” Arackniss sucked in his breath, “He’d hunt us down with no mercy if he found out.” </p>
<p>“He won’t, you’re careful. We’re both careful.” </p>
<p>“Even if we were both fuckin’ overlords he’d skin us both alive.” </p>
<p>“Not if I get there first,” Pentious responded, full of bravado as always, “Besides, with our tentative partnership, there’ll be more reason for us to be together.”</p>
<p>Arackniss grumbled in anguish, “I hope the partnership goes through.”</p>
<p>“Me too, sweetness,” Pentious rubbed his back gently, “Me too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ok so I have like. A ton of chapters prewritten for this story because I'm soft for Pentniss, would y'all like em all at once or on some sort of schedule?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Pentious gets a Call</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>No warnings needed here!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Pentious was up to his uppermost set of eyes in work when his hellphone rang, when he saw the number, he scrambled to pick it up. </p><p>“Hello, good sir!” he said with a hiss. </p><p>“This Pentious?” Henroin’s voice said gruffly.</p><p>“The one and only!” </p><p>“That rifle you showed us, is it ready for use on the field?”</p><p>“Why yes, it is.” Pentious tried not to shout. </p><p>“I’ll buy it from you. We’ve got a hit that can’t be fucked up.” Pentious cringed, recalling the harsh words that had sent Arackniss into a spiral. He forced it down, insead responding cheerily. </p><p>“Wonderful! Will your son Arackniss come to make the transaction?” </p><p>“No, I’m sending someone else.” </p><p>“I’ll be ready!” </p><p>When Henroin grunted and hung up Pentious let his pasted on smile fall as he began packing up the rifle. </p><p>Arackniss wandered in while he was working on polishing the sniper scope for the third time. </p><p>“I got the call from Pops, this is a test run for if you’re legit,” he said without needing to explain. </p><p>“It’ll be the most flawless test run he has ever seen!” Pentious said with a hiss, hood flaring. </p><p>“I know it will be,” Arackniss said, pulling Pentious down for a soft kiss on the cheek. It was a bit uncharacteristic for him, and Pentious couldn’t help but feel a blossom of warmth in his chest. </p><p>“When’s the hit?”</p><p>“Two days.”</p><p>“You’ll be more than prepared.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Comments are always appreciated! I can't stop writing this pair, it's a problem</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Bringing a grenade to a gunfight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Arackniss left for his hit, and Pentious finds he needs something to do. <br/>Warning: Pen gets himself hurt here, nothing too graphic but still!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They both work up at the same time on the day of the hit. Pentious had breakfast ready as Arackniss did his ritual before hits. Get dressed, assemble his gun and disassemble it back into the briefcase. </p><p>They ate breakfast together before he left, kissing Pentious on the forehead. </p><p>“You’ll do great,” Pentious said quietly. </p><p>“Thanks, Pen,” Arackniss responded just as quietly. </p><p>-----</p><p>It was a full hour later before Pentious was actually ready to start his day. But what to do? </p><p>He had just finished his newest gatling gun design, and it had only taken until lunch to affix both to either side of his airship. (Yes, he had put a mat below him, even if Arackniss wasn’t there to worry.) </p><p>“Boss! Boss!” number 217 shouted up at him as Pentious slithered his way back to the floor. </p><p>“Yesss?” he hissed, taking off the apron he wore on repairs and hanging it back up on its designated peg. </p><p>“We were watchin’ the tv and Cherri Bomb just blew up a building near your territory!”</p><p>“Did the news use that awful photo of me from 1952?”</p><p>217 nodded. </p><p>Well, that decided what he was going to do today. </p><p>-----</p><p>This was absolutely not going to plan. The new guns had worked perfectly, mowing down demons and peppering buildings with bullet holes. </p><p>That was before one side of the ship had been blown in with a ‘sticky bomb’, sending eggs flying and blowing a hole in the side of the ship, which was now listing to one side. </p><p>“I’m not going down without a fight!” Pentious used a handheld ray gun on a flying demon that tried to come in through the giant hole in the hull. </p><p>The balloon was losing altitude fast, and Pentious knew when to bail. </p><p>He pulled up on the controls of his balloon, only one set of thrusters responding. </p><p>“Oh, come on!” Pentious’ hood flared as they listed even stronger to one side, a few egg bois falling out of the giant hole in the side and shattering on the pavement below. </p><p>Now, Pentious had told Arackniss he was resistant to falls, which was true. But this fall was still much, much too high to be any fun to fall from. </p><p>“Egg bois!” he shouted with all the authority he could muster as another ricochet of bullets threaten to shatter the front of his windshield. </p><p>“Yes boss?” the closest ones all piped up. </p><p>“Everyone get prepared for an emergency landing!”</p><p>“Yes boss!” the egg bois all scrambled to comply. </p><p>A bomb came through the hole in the window. </p><p>“NOT THIS TIME,” Pentious shrieked, slapping it out of the ship. He was satisfied to watch it explode on a building below. </p><p>“You’ve been gettin’ smarter, old man!” Cherri Bomb’s voice cut through the explosion as she jumped in through the hole. </p><p>Aw, shit. </p><p>She brought Angel Dust with her. </p><p>He had all six arms extended, with guns, grenades, the whole shebang.</p><p>It had been a shock to learn that this was Arackniss’ brother, all glitzy and bright, pinks and whites and just so over the top in all the wrong ways. Complete opposite of Arackniss. </p><p>“Do you need your hearing checked, ya geezer?” </p><p>Pentious was shaken out of his thoughts by Cherri Bomb’s voice again. </p><p>“My hearing is just fine!” he hissed indignantly, pulling out both ray guns from their holsters, one trained on Angel, one on Cherri Bomb. He wondered briefly if he’d be able to pull the trigger on his boyfriend’s brother. </p><p>“It won’t be after this!” Angel shouted, pulling the pin to the grenades he was holding with his teeth and dropping them at the same time Cherri pulled out her own incendiaries. <br/>“Stay off my fuckin’ terf!” Cherri yelled as they jumped back out the ship. </p><p>Pentious only had enough time to throw the closest two grenades away from him before the rest of them blew up, sending the rest of the ship down as the world went dark. </p><p>“Oh that was so fuckin’ big!” Cherri Bomb laughed. <br/>“I think that was a little more than I intended!” Angel’s smile was huge, adrenaline, and more than a few drugs in his system. </p><p>“Who cares! That was amazing!”</p><p>Pentious didn’t find it amazing. He found it rather painful to be hurled out of his own ship and flung onto the nearest building as he watched a decade’s worth of work get dropped onto the street below. </p><p>He managed to drag himself to the edge of the building with half a working tail and one arm that was definitely broken, looking down. </p><p>“... Damnit, that’s going to be a lot of salvaging,” he cursed, before remembering he was in the middle of a turf war. </p><p>He still had one ray gun, and he saw at least a few egg bois scramble around the wreckage of the ship, dousing fires and assessing damage. At least they could do something without direct orders. </p><p>Pentious heard a screech behind him and he whipped around, shooting the approaching demon right between the eyes. Arackniss had insisted on teaching him how to shoot well (many eyes does not mean better aim). </p><p>“Really?! You dare try to attack me?!” he shouted at the shriveling corpse. It felt good to shout, he was having a terrible day. </p><p>He scooped up his hat from where it was perched, the eye closed and the top battered. </p><p>His airship might have been old in design but it wasn’t worthless, and he knew he would have to defend it best he could. </p><p>Getting back down to the ground level was no easy feat, and he was even more banged up and bruised by the time he got down, shooting anyone who dared got close. </p><p>“Boss! Boss!” an egg boi shouted from the top of the wreckage, “The turret still works!”</p><p>“Finally, some good news!” Pentious scaled up to the turret, ripping off a panel with his bare hand. </p><p>With just one arm it was incredibly difficult to rewire the turret to be able to fire once more, but Pentious managed. </p><p>Then, he was unstoppable. </p><p>With so many bullets and so few demons who were still alive from the initial explosion that DARED try to approach the balloon, Pentious made quick work of them as the egg bois ran salvage.</p><p>They were on the edge of the Pride district, where most of Pentious’ territory stood, and egg bois were carting away the supplies to the nearest warehouse where the pieces could be repurposed. </p><p>The closest safehouse was a quick slither away if Pentious hadn’t been injured and in the middle of a firefight, but now he knew he'd most likely have to sneak away somehow. </p><p>An undignified retreat for sure, but it couldn’t be helped.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Comments always appreciated!! There's s'more hurt in store, both of the physical and emotional kind</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Lick Your Wounds</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Arackniss was at the right place and the right time ti help out his man in more ways than one</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one's got some minor bodily trauma and medical practices you definitely should not try at home. Sorry for the late update!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Luckily for Arackniss, his hit went off without a hitch. He hadn’t really needed Pentious’ laser sniper rifle, but he made sure to utilize the disintegrating beam just to prove that it worked. The pile of ashes was for the cleanup crew to deal with. </p><p>He had finished just the slightest bit earlier than intended, so he decided to stop by a nearby bar. </p><p>As he ordered a beer the news flicked on. </p><p>Seeing Pen’s face was not unheard of, he was a minor warlord after all, often blowing up buildings and generally wrecking people’s day. </p><p>Rarely was it accompanied by live footage of a smoldering wreckage that used to be an airship with Pentious on top, a gatling gun bigger than Arackniss was spraying bullets. </p><p> </p><p>Katie Killjoy came on screen, “As you can see, the wannabe warlord Sir Pentious crashed another warship near the pride district thanks to explosives expert Cherri Bomb and Hell’s most famous porn star, Angel Dust!” </p><p>“It’s every demon’s wet dream team!” Tom Trench added and Katie’s eyes spoke of murder. </p><p>Arackniss tried not to notice the picture they used for Angel, his brother making a lewd gesture with two fingers and his tongue. </p><p>Katie continued, “The Pride district has taken quite the beating, three seperate warlords fightin’ for territory still up for grabs.”</p><p>It was hard to tell in the somewhat shaky video footage, but Arackniss could pick up on it well enough. </p><p>Pentious was only using one arm to swing around the humongous gun, and he wasn’t even using the other one to gesticulate all that much. It was probably broken, but that wasn’t all Arackniss noticed as he absentmindedly drank his beer. </p><p>As his man blasted demons to red mist, he didn’t use his whole body to gloat, like he usually did. His hood flared out and he shouted his quippy one liners, but Arackniss could tell they were pained. </p><p>He was shaken out of his thoughts by a flying demon attacking Pentious from behind. </p><p>Arackniss didn’t wait to see the outcome. He dropped some cash on the bar and ran back out to go find Pentious. </p><p>It wasn’t hard in the slightest, he could actually see the plume of smoke in the distance as he jumped in his car and raced off. </p><p> </p><p>-----</p><p> </p><p>Pentious was doing fine, really, he was. It wasn’t like he was nearly out of bullets or his back had been shredded by some lowly imp, or his broken arm had gone numb. </p><p>“At least the salvage is almost done,” he muttered. </p><p>As he swung the gun around, the magazine clicked. </p><p>Shit. </p><p>He was out of bullets. </p><p>It was retreat time. </p><p>“EGG BOIS YOU BETTER BE DONE SALVAGING!” he shouted before looking for his escape. </p><p>There were still bullets, explosions, and piles of gore around the area, but he spied a back alley that… had a car barreling down it?</p><p>Wait, that wasn’t just any car!</p><p>Arackniss rolled down the window, and faster then Pentious could process, fired off two shots over Pentious’ shoulder. </p><p>Two demons hit the ground behind him. </p><p>“GET IN!” Arackniss shouted, and Pentious didn’t have to be told twice. </p><p>He was slow, but Arackniss managed to kick open the passenger door for him. </p><p>Pentious winced as he shoved himself in the tiny space, slamming the door shut as Arackniss sped off. </p><p>“You know where the nearest safehouse is?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Arackniss grunted, eyes focused on the road. </p><p>Pentious was cradling his arm, the adrenaline wearing off. He felt every ache and pain of the injuries he had sustained. </p><p>Arackniss put his hand on Pentious’ lap, “You’re a little quiet.”</p><p>“I’m fairly certain I broke my arm and tail. How’d you know to come?”</p><p>“You made the news.”</p><p>“Ah. Did they get my good side?” They both laughed at that. </p><p>“You know you don’t have any bad ones,” Arackniss said with a genuine smile. </p><p>It was a short ride, but Pentious felt bone tired. </p><p>“I think…. I think I might rest my eyes…” </p><p>“No no no,” Arackniss shook him by the shoulder, which made Pentious hiss a little sharper then he meant, “We’re almost there, you needa stay awake.” </p><p>“I defended… that airship so well,” Pentious’ eyes were out of focus, staring at nothing ahead of him. </p><p>Arackniss felt that twist of anxiety twist a little bit tighter, “You did, Pen. Did you salvage it?”</p><p>“Most of it, the rest can go to the filthy scavengers,” Pentious said with a grumble, tapping his fingers on the dashboard, “I feel out of the airship.”</p><p>“I can tell from your broken… everything,” Arackniss’ smile faltered as he approached the gate to a small home in the middle of a residential area. It was nondescript on the outside, but on the inside it was one of the various safehouses the serpent had amassed over the years. </p><p>Voice locks and handprints were needed to get inside, which Pentious did listlessly, and when Arackniss pulled into the driveway Pentious tried to slither out on his own, only to falter and nearly faceplant had Arackniss not been there to catch him. </p><p>“Sorry my dear sniper,” Pentious laughed weakly. </p><p>“We’ll get you patched up inside,” Arackniss was strong enough to let Pentious lean almost all of his weight on the small spider. </p><p>Arackniss set him down on the couch, “Stay awake,” he said as he retrieved the first aid kit.</p><p>Something seemed off as he patched Pentious, he was silent as he cleaned scratch wounds and covered a particularly dosgusting popped eye with a cotton patch. </p><p>“I think we’re going to have to reset your tail and arm here,” Arackniss said after a pause. </p><p>“I’ve never had someone else do it,” Pentious said with only a touch of his usual flair, “I made a machine to reset my tail but it’s back at the Lair, we can just go-“</p><p>“I can reset your arm at least,” Arackniss said. </p><p>Pentious seemed… nervous… at the prospect of this, “Are you sure…?” </p><p>“Of course I’m sure. Uh. Here, hold this. In your mouth,” Arackniss said sheepishly, wadding up some cotton for Pentious to bite on. </p><p>Pentious opened his mouth and Arackniss rolled his eyes with a smile as he fit the wad inside. </p><p>“Oh, and hold this,” Arackniss handed him a roll of guaze to squeeze. </p><p>“Are y’gonna coun’ down?” he asked around the cotton.</p><p>“Yes,” Arackniss used all four hands, positioning himself gently, “One… two…”</p><p>Before he even hit three he was moving the bone back into place with a crunch. </p><p>Pentious bit down and tried very hard not to scream too loudly. </p><p>“Ok, ok, it’s done,” Arackniss pet Pentious’ hood with one hand as the other three worked to wrap it against a splint. </p><p>Pentious had tears in his eyes, discarding the now shredded roll of gauze in his claws and pulling out the cotton from his mouth, “Why’d you do it before you reached three??” he demanded. </p><p>“It’s better to take you by surprise. Hurts less that way.”</p><p>“It still hurt very much, thank you!”</p><p>“It was a very bad break,” Arackniss finished his work, tying the sling around Pentious’ neck, “And your tail’s still broken too.”</p><p>“Can I at least get some painkillers before you do that??” </p><p>“That’s a good idea,” Arackniss handed him a bottle, “I’ll go find some whiskey to wash it down.”</p><p>“I don’t think that’s standard medical practice!”</p><p>“It was when we were alive, and this is Hell!”</p><p>Pentious didn’t seem to be in the talking mood, rather content to stare ever so blankly off into the distance. </p><p>“Well, here goes nothin’,” Arackniss murmured to himself as he watched Pentious stare off into nothingness. </p><p>“Brought you some brandy since you didn’t have any whiskey,” he said as he sat on the couch next to Pentious, two glasses in hand as he poured the snake a very generous amount. </p><p>Pentious washed down the pills with them, “Thank you, m’love,” he said in a faraway voice. </p><p>“Are… are you feeling ok?” Arackniss asked in a voice a shade or two gentler than his usual tone. </p><p>“Me?” Pentious asked, as if there was anyone else in the room with them, “Yes, yes. I’m alright. Just… thinking about the airship. Lots of work went down in flames.” </p><p>Arackniss knew it was more than just the airship, but he decided a more roundabout approach would be best, “It wasn’t a newer model, was it?”</p><p>“Oh, no, no! Of course not,” Pentious took another long draw of brandy, “I wouldn’t use a newer model on such a small tiff, nor would it have gone down that easily.” </p><p>“It’s hard to see the old models go,” Arackniss pressed further. </p><p>“Yes… yes, it is,” Pentious leaned back against a couch cushion, “I made all of these ships myself, of course, and while it wasn’t my newest model it was by no means an old one… I do cycle them out, as you know.”</p><p>The spider felt like he was closing in on something. It was just like a hit in a target. Ready, aim, fire. </p><p>“Yeah, I’ve watched you spend time on every ship.” </p><p>“I try to keep them all up to date,” Pentious sighed heavily, “They just get taken down faster and faster.”</p><p>“Does it worry you?” Arackniss asked.</p><p>Pentious didn’t answer for a long while, “I wonder sometimes if I’m losing my touch.”</p><p>Ah, so that’s what it was. Arackniss didn’t say anything, just made a go on gesture. </p><p>“I’ve been in hell for… a long time,” Pentious poured himself more alcohol, finishing the whole glass before continuing, “And nowadays it feels like I’m nothing more than a joke in most demon’s eyes.” </p><p>“You’ve kept your style the whole time,” Arackniss wasn’t one for pep talks, he had no idea what he was doing to be quite honest. </p><p>Pentious laughed lovelessly, “I’m nothing if not a sucker for style,” he hissed his ‘s’ sounds harshly, as if spitting his words, “I’d be stuck in the past too if it weren’t… if it weren’t for my ambition.”</p><p>“You haven’t been bested yet,” Arackniss made a lopsided grin, quoting something Pentious said often. </p><p>“No, no I haven’t,” Pentious looked down at his drink, one arm in a sling, tail still needing to be set and drugs thoroughly setting into his system, “I’ve still got decades of ambition of life in me!” he added decisively. </p><p>“Got all the time in Hell,” Arackniss knew to keep Pen talking if he wanted to set his tail back in place. </p><p>“I want to rule I want to be on top!” Pentious’ hood flared, gaze unfocused from the drugs, alcohol, and lingering pain, “It’s getting harder and harder to keep up with the rising pace of technology. I used to be on top, you know.”</p><p>“I’ve heard the stories,” Arackniss was inspecting Pentious’ tail, extracting his third pair of arms in case he needed them</p><p>“Flying airships were unheard of up until recently! I ruled the skies!” Pentious suddenly deflated, “But now all I am is a joke that gets blown out of the air by porn stars as the punchline,” he grimaced. </p><p>“You’ll never fall behind for long, I’ve seen the crazy blueprints you’ve been working on.” </p><p>“I refuse to become a relic!” Pentious banged his fist on the edge of the sofa, “...I don’t want to become forgotten…”</p><p>This gave Arackniss pause, “Why do you think you’d be forgotten?”</p><p>“They’ve been calling me a hazbin for years,” Pentious leaned against the couch, “There’ll always be time for another ‘wannabe warlord’.” </p><p>“Well, this warlord is gonna need to get his tail reset if he wants to show demons who’s boss,” Arackniss said, wadding up more cotton and shoving it into Pentious’ mouth. Having no gag reflex served its purpose in more ways than one, it seemed. </p><p>Pentious had no time to react, only had time to bite down and scream as the bones were reset by six strong arms. </p><p>“Did that hurt less with the drugs?” Arackniss asked as he quickly worked to splint the break. </p><p>Pentious was breathing heavily, still biting down hard on the cotton and clutching a pillow. </p><p>“Sorry Pen,” it made Arackniss’ heart hurt to see him so obviously distressed. As he finished wrapping his tail, Arackniss climbed onto Pentious’ lap and hugged him with all six arms, being mindful of the sling, “You did good.”</p><p>This made Pentious freeze again, but he relaxed into Arackniss’ hold, putting one arm on his back and burying his face in Arackniss’ soft hair.</p><p>“Does it still hurt?” Arackniss pulled back a bit to look at Pentious, worry in all eight of his eyes. </p><p>“It feels better with you here.”</p><p>“Don’t make me mushy,” Arackniss buried his face in his chest so Pentious couldn’t see his grin (but he could).</p><p>“We can always blame the alcohol,” Pentious smirked.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Comments are always appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Don't get on Pentious' bad side</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING: Shit gets real here man, there's torture in the forms of stabbing/electrocution/dismemberment!!! Please read with caution!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arackniss was incredibly attentive to Pentious as he recuperated. With only half a tail at his disposal it was more than a little hard to do the things Pentious usually did. </p><p>“I really do need to do repairs on the latest airship!”</p><p>“You can’t coil around the trusses without half your tail!”</p><p>Pentious grumbled at that, crossing his arms. At least that had healed before Pentious got too desperate and tried to invent himself a new one. </p><p>“Give it a few more days, please,” Arackniss said in a softer tone that made Pentious’ heart melt in all the best ways. </p><p>“Can I at least work on the combustion engines?”</p><p>“Fine.”</p><p>-----</p><p>Arackniss couldn’t spend all his time with Pentious as much as he wanted to. </p><p>Usually, this would have upset Pentious, but this time, working on the latest modifications to the airships gas combustion to make it less prone to explosions, he was grateful. </p><p>Pentious was alerted to the intruder by a small ringing bell built into his desk. It was one of four, meaning that they were trying to breach a side entrance. At least they didn’t try the front door again. </p><p>He sighed, “Right as I was getting ready to test it with hydrogen…” he shook his head, picking up a gun and checking it still had darts in it, shoving the small plasma welder he had been using in his coat pocket. </p><p>Even though the media depicted him as an old hazbin, that didn’t mean he was left alone by the denizens of Hell. Quite the opposite actually. </p><p>Assassins and enterprising demons would often try to break into the Serpent’s Lair. If the climb up the mountain or the front gate, or the turrets didn’t stop them, the hundreds of eyes that covered every surface of basically everything the snake made would alert him. </p><p>He saw the bug demon trying to break into the door from the eye on the knocker. </p><p>“Amateur,” Pentious grumbled as he watched the demon fumble his lock picks. He was nursing a bullet wound with one of his lower set of hands, which was probably why he was having such trouble with the door. </p><p>Pentious cocked the gun, hearing a dart slide into place before flinging the door open. </p><p>“I was busy,” he said to the stunned demon before shooting him square in the chest. He threw the demon over his shoulder as he slumped over. </p><p>The demon next awoke tied to a chair in a barren basement with nothing but a single overhead light and a table full of torture devices. </p><p>And Sir Pentious, leering over him. </p><p>“Jesus Christ!” the demon strained against his restraints, but Pentious knew he wouldn’t go anywhere. </p><p>“This is Hell,” Pentious sneered, “Jesus won’t save you now.” Now, I have a busy schedule, do tell me what you’re doing here before I tire of this.” </p><p>“I-uh-I,”  the demon blabbered. Utter imbecile, Pentious couldn’t help but roll his eyes.</p><p>“Fine, we’ll start simple,” Pentious flicked out a knife, thin and sharp. Really more for show than work, but he wasn’t planning to butcher him up just yet. </p><p>He held the knife against the demon’s throat, “Name?”</p><p>The demon swallowed, “Cole.”</p><p>That made sense, given his beetle form and dusky gray color. </p><p>“Well, Cole, who sent you?” Pentious ran the knife down, slicing into his collarbone.</p><p>“You’re not getting that out of me- ARGH!” </p><p>Pentious had flicked out a second, significantly more substantial knife and stabbed it into his knee with a flat expression. </p><p>“I’ll ask again, if you refuse, well.” Pentious laughed, hood flaring, “You have another knee cap.” </p><p>“Th-the Latrodencus family hired me.” </p><p>Shit. That was another prominent spider mafia, in opposition to Arackniss’ family the Arachnoids.</p><p>“Why? You’re a terrible spy and an even worse assassin, the only upside is your gun has holy bullets in it,” Pentious let go of the knife still in the demon’s knee to draw out Cole’s gun. </p><p>Cole balked at this, “I’m not that bad!”</p><p>“With one knee and a bullet wound through the side you will be,” Pentious leered, “Don’t force me to make you even worse.”</p><p>“It was for reconnaissance.”</p><p>“I’m sure you know now I don’t suffer fools or intrusions,” Pentious slithered over to his table of horrors, ripping out the knife as he went and letting Cole’s scream bring a smile to his lips. </p><p>He put down the knives now glistening with blood and picked up a taser, the electrodes sharp points. </p><p>“Why the sudden interest in me?” He asked, slithering back, holding Cole’s chin in his claws. </p><p>“Fuck if I-” Cole cut himself off with a scream as Pentious jabbed the taser into his side. </p><p>“You’re really making my patience run thin.” </p><p>“Rumors that you’ve been working with the Arachnoids.”</p><p>“That’s much better. Why now?”</p><p>Not wanting to get tasered again, Cole huffed, “Saw you got injured in a turf war.”</p><p>“And the Lactodencus sent a lowly little bug to try and infiltrate the Serpent’s Lair. Cute.” Pentious slithered to the back of Cole, “Well, I have a message for the Lactodencus.”</p><p>“You’re… you’re letting me go?” Cole sounded so hopeful. So pitiful. </p><p>“Oh, no,” Pentious forced a rag into his mouth, tying it quickly into place with a thick cord. How he moved so fast was beyond Cole, “You will send the message though.”</p><p>He pulled the plasma torch out from his breast pocket, flicking on the cutting attachment. </p><p>Blue plasma swished and Cole passed out with a choked scream as his tied arms were cut straight off by the vicious snake. </p><p>Pentious huffed as the demon slumped forward, “Great, I got blood on my jacket.” he pulled out Cole’s gun and fired a holy bullet into the demon’s skull, “That'll keep you down permanently.”</p><p>He picked up the four severed hands, dunking them in a prepared mixture of ice water and isopropyl alcohol, “Those’ll make for a good message to send back, too much of a waste to send the whole body,” he mused, making sure not to drag his tail in the gore that was once Cole’s brains. </p><p> Pentious pulled off his jacket, tucking it over his arm to contain the mess as he slithered back to ground level, a swinging bookshelf in the parlor acting as the door. </p><p>“Cleanup crew, deal with the guest in the basement, and someone get me a plastic box the size of a shoebox  and my traveling writing desk!” </p><p>Egg bois jumped to comply. </p><p>“Pen? You there?” </p><p>Pentious startled when he heard Aracknis’ voice coming from the kitchen. </p><p>“Oh, sorry sweetness, I didn’t hear you come in!” Pentious looked around for a place he could hide his bloody coat. No need to worry his dear spider.</p><p>Arackniss poked his head around the wall before he had found one, “I couldn’t find you anywhere, and you know the eggs aren’t good at keeping track of anything,” he sounded so worried it made Pentious feel bad to his core. </p><p>“I was just indisposed for a moment,” Pentious hoped he didn’t smell like blood or charred demon.</p><p>“Did I hear something about a basement??” Arackniss looked cautiously at Pentious, like he was trying to figure out if he should trust him or not, “I didn’t even know you had a basement.”<br/>“What good Victorian mansion doesn’t have a basement?” Pentious replied evasively. </p><p>	“... Do you smell something burnt?” Arackniss leaned towards the snake, who leaned back in turn.</p><p>“Were you cooking something in the kitchen?” Pentious held his coat tightly as if it would hide the tangy smell of iron. </p><p>“...Just some sandwiches… and I smell blood, you didn’t hurt yourself down there, did you??” he went to the back of Pentious, checking his tail. </p><p>“No no, I’m quite alright!” Pentious forced his shoulder to relax, “A bit hungry, perhaps?”</p><p>“Oh, well, it is lunchtime…” Arackniss obviously knew Pentious was hiding something. </p><p>“Let me put away my jacket and I’ll meet you in the kitchen!” Pentious said, quickly slithering away.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Comments are always appreciated, I don't usually write this kind of stuff but I'm quite happy with how it ended up!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Arackniss' Small Adventure</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Arackniss goes snoopin' </p><p>(possible tw for yelling and very very mild gore)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Arackniss wasn’t stupid. He knew that Pentious had enemies, had seen some of them on television, but he hadn’t seen any face to face. </p><p>There was definitely something in the basement, and now Arackniss felt a need to know what was down there below the Serpent’s Lair. Only problem was he didn’t know how to even get to the basement. </p><p>He poked around a little while Pentious was busy, trying to see if he could find where any doors he’d never opened led to. Evidently, there were a lot more rooms filled with inventions and spare bedrooms then he thought. </p><p>Eventually he realized that he could simply watch the Egg Boid movements, since they had reign over most of the house (everywhere except places that were deemed too private or too dangerous, like Pentious’ experiments labs, his workstation, and the kitchen).</p><p>Leaning out a second story window, Arackniss watched as a few eggs waddled their way over to a little shed a ways away. That looked like a place for a secret basement entrance if he ever saw one. </p><p>After they all left Arackniss jumped down from the window and landed neatly on his feet, beating a quick path to the shed and checking the door. Not even locked. </p><p>Bingo, a set of stairs downwards among a few gardening supplies he had never seen used. </p><p>He went down cautiously, grabbing a flashlight he kept on his keychain and flicking on the small beam to make sure he didn’t fall down the stairs. </p><p>There was another door at the bottom, which was also unlocked. It was just a simple steel slab with a closed eye on the front that meant Pentious could look in whenever he wanted to. </p><p>He pushed open the door. </p><p>A simple hallway with a few lights and a few doors. It was so… barren, nothing like the extravagance Pentious usually filled his life with. Arackniss wondered if it was unfinished it looked so out of place, making the hair on the back of his neck stick up. </p><p>He pushed open the first door, finding cleaning supplies. The next had an assortment of weapons, everything from halberds to dart guns to daggers and tasers. </p><p>The third door was empty, except for a chair bolted down to the floor and a rolling table, cleared of whatever had been on it. </p><p>“Pen, why do you have an extraction chamber in the basement I didn’t know about?” Arackniss asked the open room. He found no blood stains, no evidence of carnage, just the faint smell of cleaning solution. </p><p>He saw no reason to look further, instead opening up the last door. </p><p>The smell of chemicals hit him so hard he reeled, covering his nose with two hands as his eyes watered. </p><p>There was a full size tub built into an alcove on one wall with a shower head above it, smoke coming off of whatever putrid mixture was in it, along another wall were racks of chemicals, aprons, gloves, masks and goggles. <br/>Arackniss grabbed a clean pair of goggles and a mask, putting them both on as he approached the steaming tub.</p><p>The puddle of goo only vaguely resembled a demon now, their skull fragmented from a bullet wound and their body dissolving into nothing from the strong chemicals. </p><p>“That’s fuckin’ disgusting,” he muttered, but effective, he supposed. </p><p>Arackniss couldn’t recognize them, instead turning away to look around at the table on the far wall.  </p><p>There was a white plastic box next to what he assumed was Pentious’ traveling writing desk, with a piece of parchment, an envelope, a pen, and his wax seal set laid out in the same methodical, perfectly organized way Pentious did everything. </p><p>Arackniss read the paper and felt his chest seize. </p><p>It was addressed to the head of the Latrodencus family, and said one very simple phrase: Send better assassins, or send none at all. </p><p>So that’s who was currently melting into their second death. Pentious probably put a holy bullet in their head to stop them for sure.</p><p>This was all so calculated, so thought out. So practiced. </p><p>How many times had Pentious done this?? How many assassins or spies had tried to break into the impenetrable Serpent’s Lair  only to end up as hazardous waste?</p><p>Before he could lose his nerve, Arackniss pulled open the box.</p><p>Four ashen black hands looked back up at him, the ends where they had been severed cauterized. That must have been the burning smell Arackniss had picked up on before… </p><p>“Sweetness, what are you doing in here?” </p><p>Arackniss dropped the box lid and whirled around, bottom hands gripping the edge of the table. </p><p>Pentious stood in the doorway, still in his vest and button down. </p><p>“What’s all of this??” Arackniss ripped off the mask and goggles, which was probably a bad idea since his eyes immediately watered and throat threatened to close up as he choked on fumes</p><p>“The chemicals are unsafe, come outside,” Pentious said quietly instead of answering, slithering back into the hallway. </p><p>“S-seriously, Pen,” Arackniss said, following him to the hallway. He tried not to shake, telling himself his tears were from the chemicals, “What’s this doing in the basement?? Is this why I never knew you had a basement?! Who’s the guy you melted!!” </p><p>His voice hitched  looking at Pentious, so sad and deflated, looking ghastly in the harsh hall lights. </p><p>“He got over the gate, tried very pitifully to get in through the side door.” Pentious fiddled with his hands, red tipped claws picking at scales.</p><p>Arackniss crossed his bottom arms, top set running through his hair, “So you what?! Tortured him for information then killed him??”</p><p>“You say that as if that’s not exactly what happens to intruders in Hell!” Pentious said defensively.</p><p>“Well- yeah, but-!” Arackniss made a frustrated growl, “How long has this been happening?!”</p><p>“What, the intruders?” Pentious scoffed, “Ever since I made a name for myself there have been intruders, they all fail miserably!”</p><p>“And you didn’t think to tell me?”</p><p>“I think I handle myself just fine, thank you!” Pentious snapped, anxious nature covered by anger. </p><p>“That’s not the point, what if he had been more competent??”</p><p>“He’s hardly the best assassin or spy that’s tried to break in,” Pentious hissed defensively. </p><p>“He’s from an enemy of the Family-” something clicked for Arackniss, “Is it because ya’ took up a partnership??”</p><p>“I did that well aware of the risks! Nothing I do goes uncalculated!” Pentious snapped, to him it sounded like Arackniss doubted his abilities. </p><p>Arackniss growled, obviously upset at that, “They’re dangerous, Pen!”</p><p>“I believe the hands in the box are plenty enough to show that I am a force to be reckoned with!” Pentious replied, voice growing angrier, “I’ve dealt with mafia before, and they were subsequently crushed!“</p><p>“What if you get hurt?! What if- what if they hire a team-! Someone better than one shitty spy!” </p><p>“I hardly think I’m worth the effort in their eyes,” Pentious scoffed, lip curling in disgust. </p><p>“Wha-what if- what if you’re not strong enough?!”  Arackniss finally couldn’t take it anymore, “I can’t believe you kept this from me!!” </p><p>“Not strong enough?! Kept what from you?! My personal dealings as a minor warlord?!” Pentious gestured around at themselves, “This bunker predates your lifetime! Don’t expect there not to be other things you don’t know about my very long existence!” </p><p>This struck a cord with Arackniss, his eyes snapping open, all eight staring at Pentious wide eyed, the snake seething in barely contained rage, hood flaring. </p><p>“I’ve been down here for a VERY long time, Arackniss,” Pentious gesticulated to the world around then, “I’ve learned plenty making a name for myself and I am NOT going to let a mere partnership be the end of me! I’m more then capable of carving out a piece of Hell for myself, my strength isn't to be questioned, ESPECIALLY BY YOU!” he pointed emphatically at Arackniss, hood flared and tears welling in his eyes. </p><p>Arackniss visibly flinched, upper hands coming up to protect his face if Pentious hit him, eyes squinting shut. </p><p>No blow came. </p><p>Arackniss was prompted to uncurl by the sounds of Pentious’ heavy breathing. <br/>“I’d never hit you… ” Pentious said through his hands, trying to stifle his tears, “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”</p><p>So forthcoming with apologies… Arackniss’ breathing hitched as he lowered his hands, biting his lip so hard he broke skin, “If you think you’re safe, I believe you.”</p><p>“Nothing. Nothing can get through the Serpent’s Lair as long as I live.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Needless to say, I'm back with inspo from the new helluva boss! Writing blocks are hard tho, man</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Things Set In Motion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>GUESS WHAT I'M NOT DEAD AND DIDN'T ABANDON THIS FIC</p><p>I finally got some semblance of freakin inspiration and managed to bound out this chapter pretty quickly, considering it's been a full four months since I wrote anything. </p><p>Have something you think would be fantastic for this fic? Comment! I need some ideas!</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>To say that they were comfortable after that would be… ignoring the elephant in the room. </p><p>Sure, Pentious and Arackniss fell back into their normal schedules, busy running (or slithering) around and trying to see each other as much as possible, but they were both still on edge. </p><p>It had never even occurred to Pentious to explain the fact that he had enemies, and ways of disposing of them. It seemed obvious that he would have to deal with this kind of unsavory demon. </p><p>He had personally delivered the box of limbs at the gates of the Latrodencus estate under Hell’s blood red moon, ready to be rid of this whole mess.</p><p>Of course that simple act didn’t do much to fix anything, but it made him feel better, at least a little bit, enough to throw himself back into his work with renewed vigor, still sorting through the salvage of the latest wrecked balloon and concocting his newest insane invention. </p><p>Working through so much scrap, a mindless job for him but much too complicated for the egg bois allowed Pentious a lot of time to reflect. </p><p>He was still capable, he was still a force to be reckoned with , he was still Sir fucking Pentious thank you very much! One measly mafia family wasn’t going to destroy that, wasn’t even able to touch him!</p><p>In his heart of hearts he knew that Arackniss was being rational in his own paranoid way. Possessiveness was a given when loving a demon was the deepest, darkest secret in his heart. </p><p>If there was one thing Arackniss had indirectly taught Pentious it was how to actually know what he was feeling, and he knew that his dear spider was trying the same. Pentious found it quite amazing that even demons could become better people. How funny love is.</p><p>So no, Pentious was not mad at Arackniss. </p><p>Although, he wasn’t sure the same could be said for the Lactrodencus. He wanted them wiped from the face of Hell, in fact! </p><p>It had been said, many years ago when he mowed down a warlord with his very first flying machine that when Sir Pentious put his mind to something, he was an unstoppable force of destruction.</p><p>He was determined to live up to that claim once more. </p><p>-----</p><p>Of course Arackniss was worried, dammit! The Lactrodencus were dangerous, and Pentious could get cockier than a rooster in a chicken coup. He saw how the snake was throwing himself back into his work, watching a downright frightening machine rise up in a matter of days. </p><p>On the other hands, he knew that Pentious was more than capable of taking care of himself, having survived so long, but even then… he had seen the news, seen how much damage Pentious took sometimes, and he couldn’t help but be protective. </p><p>Being able to do nothing made Arackniss antsy, not wanting to leave Pentious’ side in case he did something stupid. </p><p>But at the same time, he couldn’t stand to do nothing, especially as both his Pops and Pentious were ramping up their operations. </p><p>He barely even had time to spend around Pentious as is, for some unholy reason he was put through at least double the missions he was before. </p><p>As the spider dragged an unfortunate Imp into a river that ran red with other unfortunate Imps, he was suddenly struck with the good ole intuition of ‘get-the-fuck-outta-there’. </p><p>Arackniss didn’t even question that instinct anymore, he just dumped the imp and double timed it back to his car. He realized what it was when he saw the bullet hole spiderweb across his back window. </p><p>He tore down the road, not exactly sure where to go, but he knew wherever it was he had to keep them away from the family and Pentious. </p><p>A nondescript truck came barrelling right after him and Arackniss let out a list of very inventive swears as he swerved to what he assumed was a grenade and accelerated even faster.</p><p>Driving back to the city was the most logical choice, really the only choice he could make, using his bottom set of hands to pick up his phone.</p><p> He briefly thought of calling his father, but he shook that off almost immediately, instead speed-dialing Pentious. </p><p>“Hey Pen!!” he didn’t mean to shout, but a car chasing you down tends to put you on edge, “We got a situation!”</p><p>“What kind of situation??”</p><p>“The kind were demons are chasing me in a van and throwin’ grenades! I’m off the main highway, heading back into the city.” </p><p>Arackniss could hear the hiss of annoyance on the other side of the line, “There might be an old safehouse on the corner of 13th and 18th street, it’s an old mattress factory.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why, in the name of Hell, do you have a safe house that’s an old mattress factory??”<br/>“We used to hide TNT in the mattresses, it was genius at the time! At 13th there should be an alley, knock over the mailbox and you’ll be able to open the secret door.”</p><p>“That’s a lot to remember but you got it, boss,” Arackniss grunted as he tore down the street, “Call you back later!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Comments are super appreciated, I'm not really sure where I want to go in this fic, if you have suggestions please tell me!!!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Comments are much appreciated!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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